| Sometimes people need to know that they are appreciated. Sometimes they forget what they did for someone else and don't realize how it affected them. One person can do one thing to another and change their life forever. That is a power inside of us all. Sometimes people don't realize that they are given a gift. Sometimes it's to late to give it back. Years go by and people change. Years go by and they stay the same. One day they remember all that was given to them and are powerless. Someone gave to me more than I needed. So much that my cup was over filled many times over. I can never give back to them what was given. But I will not be powerless. Today I remember you. Yesterday I missed you. Tomorrow I enjoy my life that was made better. Smile and be proud of who you are : ) |
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| Sometimes things happen in a very strange way. Kinda like walking to the next door neighbors house by going around the block. I went to jail today. 7:00 this morning I was in hand cuffs. From that point on several of my prayers were answered. Today some of the people that I pray for the most proved to me that when our creator knows that you are thinking of them He takes care of you both. Today the woman that thinks only of herself showed her appreciation for every thing that has been done for her. Today the son that was too afraid to fess up to his mother came clean. Today the man that was consumed by his desires looked at life with a fresh view. Three people where touched by God today all for the sake of doing some thing good for someone else. And in the end here I am in a warm bed that I don't deserve to be in and surrounded by thoughtful people who before today were not thoughtful and one of them is me. Today my prayers were answered. None of those people knew that I was praying for them but we all where touched. All of us sinners, all of us in need, all of us thankful. Pray for someone you love and for someone you hate. God does not discriminate. |
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|  Thats my camera hatin' nonphotogenic self. Thats my sis mad at me cause she's shy That's my go.
I didn't have much to write about today so Holly and I took a few pics. I'll prolly give her the car when she is ready to drive. She don't know that yet....Hehehe. I kinda missed out on about five years of her life and that sucks. Now she has turned into this totaly charming and complex personality. Super talented too. Gives me chills hard core when she sings. We are spending more time together now which is too cool. There is 13 years between us so the generation gap is slow to close but it will. Anyway happy easter everybody. |
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| This is what I can't figure out about me. I am just over 10,000 days old (28 years old. Just to save you the math) I am set in a career that by the time that I am thirty I can pick any where in the country I want and automaticaly be indispensible. In six months i will hold the highest certification in the industry. I drive a sweet car, am built like spiderman, just with blond hair blue eyes a fantastic smile (To quote my sister) and a farmers tan sometimes cause i have to wear a sleaved shirt and jeans to work in the summer. But not tryin to toot my own horn here but you would think that a guy like that would not keep himself single for three years srait. But I have. And looking back on all that time it is because no matter how hot or nice or funny any woman was that i talked too I couldn't get passed thinking that I would not be able to trust her. And here is why. My mother is the purest soul on the planet. She was raped when she was 16 years old and I was born. When I was 8 years old she sat me down and told me how I came to be. It must have been really hard to do because I think that when she did that she relived the experience right there in front of me. The impact it had on me was massive. When she was explaining it I saw her eyes and it was like seeing this man on top of her with my own eyes watching from her perspective. That image burned itself in my memory. So that is why I don't do the one night stand thing or ever approach a woman just to have sex. And I never make the first move. That may sound wered but I just don't. If I ever looked into my moms eyes knowing that I abused my ability to get laid...well i don't think I will ever be doing that. All that really does not explain why I don't trust women. Well it's because every serious relationship I have been in has ended on me finding out that she was with another man. And i don't go looking for sex so I have never cheated. I don't know if my ex-wife did but she is now married to the man I thought she was. And thats because he was a radiographer that is 20 years older than me and money pouring out his ears. And didn't have the patience to wait for me to get where I am now. I guess I have a "look at me now" complex lol. Anyway the three years since her has been a long time to hate women. I don't hate them I guess I am just ready to have kids with the right one. And when they are old enough to understand we can say that I am your father and I am your mother and they will never have to wonder or worry about where they came from or who and where is this person that brought me into the world. I may have passed up the chance at some really good relationships but it is hard because I am surrounded by couples that pretty much hate each other and thats because they are so wrapped up in hiding things from each other that they want besides their relationship. The woman that shares my name with me will be the one that loves me for me and I for her and both of us for our children. And I wont have it any other way. Maybe I figured myself out...hmmm. I think writing things down helps me to sort out how I feel. Thought drop concluded. |
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